Perfect Grace (Gospel: Part 3)
Perfect Grace (Gospel: Part 3)
By Bradley Bennett
Most couples have a story about THAT fight. You know the one… that first blow up where things got real.
Amanda and I certainly do. We both refer to it as “The Blanket Fight”. Because it was about, as the name suggests, a blanket.
I’m not making this up… We had probably one of our biggest fights over putting away a blanket when going to bed.
There were words exchanged, there were tears, there was frustration, and there ultimately was laughter. I vividly remember both of us laughing after our argument because of how ridiculous the entire situation was.
It’s moments like this, which every couple experiences, that remind us that our marriage is not perfect. And you know what? That is totally okay.
When we first got married, both Amanda and I felt this strange pressure to try and have the perfect marriage. You may have also felt, or currently feel, this pressure in your marriage.
But the reality we’ve been forced to face, through many other moments like our infamous blanket fight, is that our marriage just isn’t perfect. And trying to pretend or expect it to be is just exhausting.
For us, coming to grips with the imperfection in our marriage has been a journey. But through the good news of the gospel, it’s been a transformative one.
The gospel has given us the grace to acknowledge our imperfections while giving us the hope that we can still experience a beautiful, fulfilling, and unified marriage.
You see, the pursuit of perfection just leads to exhaustion, burnout, and frustration. But when we trust our imperfect marriage to the work of our perfect savior, we can find rest for our souls.
The good news of the gospel shows us that even though our marriage will never be perfected, we can still find deep joy in it through God’s grace.
His Grace Is Sufficient
The Apostle Paul shares about the power of God’s grace in a letter to the early church in Corinth,
“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:7-9
We’re not entirely sure what Paul meant by this “thorn”, but what we do know is that it was something that limited Paul and kept him from doing exactly what he wanted to do. It was something that showed his weakness and imperfection.
In your marriage, you may be aware of the thorns, or imperfections, that continue to pop up. And here is the bad news… there will always be thorns. No marriage will ever be 100% perfect, because none of us is 100% perfect. Simply put, imperfect people will lead to imperfect marriages.
Now, that may sound like the biggest, “No Duh” statement ever. But it’s an incredibly important truth for us to understand. Here’s why…
Expecting perfection from your imperfect marriage will sap your ability to experience the very real joy to be found within your union.
So what do we do? Do we just give up and settle for a mediocre marriage marked by our imperfections? No!
This is where the good news of the gospel comes in. Through Jesus, you too can experience the reality that Paul came to learn in 2 Corinthians 12… That God’s grace is sufficient for you.
It is the grace of God, that comes to us through Jesus, that empowers us to embrace the imperfection present in our marriage and still find the deep joy of oneness it was designed for.
Culture’s Story: Strive More
Our culture tells us that the key to experiencing a perfect marriage is to simply try harder. Strive more. Go to more lectures, schedule your date nights, follow this or that 7-step plan to get the spark back in your marriage.
And these aren’t bad things to do, but when we try to fix the problem of imperfection within our marriage by just trying harder, it can only end in one way. Frustration and exhaustion.
And maybe you feel that way right now.
You see, the desire to create the perfect marriage leads us to strive more and more until we are worn out, discouraged, and disgusted.
Before long we find ourselves stuck in the comparison trap and trying to convince ourselves and others that everything is perfect by creating a false image of what’s really going on.
We may not be able to HAVE a perfect marriage, but at least we can make it look like we do, right?!
How exhausting is that, though? It turns your marriage into a performance rather than a relationship.
The end result of culture’s story to “strive more” will never result in a perfect relationship, because that’s impossible. Rather, it will only lead to one or both of you becoming exhausted and pushing the other away.
God desires so much more for you and your marriage. Here’s how we can experience that.
The Gospel’s Story: Submit More
Thankfully, the gospel has a far better story. Rather than telling us to strive more in our power, the gospel calls us to submit more to God’s power at work in our lives. Here’s how the gospel story plays out and puts to death the pursuit of perfection in your marriage.
Created In Perfection
Humanity was originally created alongside perfect creation by God. In this state, humanity had a perfect relationship with God and with each other. There was no sin, brokenness, or imperfection to be found.
This perfection led to human flourishing and the mission to be fruitful, multiply, and become one.
Fallen Into Imperfection
When Adam and Eve chose to deter from God’s perfect will and ways by sinning and choosing to do what seemed best in their own eyes, they brought brokenness into their relationship with God and each other.
What was once perfect, holy, and beautiful became filled with imperfection, brokenness, and pain. And ever since then, humanity has attempted to achieve perfection in our own ability, but without success.
You see, no one can live perfectly, all are sinful and have fallen short of the mark of perfection. And when we try to trust in our own ability and strength to live perfectly, it only leads to more brokenness.
This story is played out in marriages all over our world day after day.
You yourself may have come to the realization that you can’t live perfectly, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t create the perfect relationship. This is where we discover the good news of Jesus.
Redeemed Through Grace
Jesus did what no one before Him could do, He lived a perfect life. And because of this, He was able to offer Himself as a perfect sacrifice for all of humanity on the cross. After He was killed though, rather than staying dead, He rose on the third day and conquered the power of sin and death.
Now risen, He offers that same conquering power to all who trust in Him and what He has done. He promises to cover those who trust in him with His righteousness so that they will experience the grace of God that redeems them despite their imperfection.
It’s through the redeeming work of Jesus and the grace of God that we can put to death the pursuit of perfection in our marriage.
We do this by humbly coming to God to confess our imperfection and acknowledge that we can’t live perfectly in our own power. And from there we choose to trust and rest in the finished work of Jesus that redeems us before God.
This leads to a daily walk where we submit ourselves in faith to God’s wisdom and ways and invite His Spirit to shape us to look more like Christ in our everyday life.
The Coming Perfection of Eternity
Even though we will never experience true perfection in this life, we can live with the hope that one day we will be made perfect for all of eternity. One day we will experience the everlasting life promised by Jesus as we live in a perfect relationship with God, with others, and with creation.
There will be no more brokenness, pain, tears, or imperfection. It will be beautiful for all of eternity.
Rest and Rejoice In His Perfect Grace
Through the gospel, we can rest in the fact that His grace is sufficient for us in the midst of our imperfection. We can stop our striving and simply submit ourselves to His shaping work in our lives.
So, if you are tired, disappointed, or burned out today, choose to turn and trust in the good news of Jesus. His grace is sufficient for you, and in it, you can find what your soul truly needs. The rest, peace, and grace to enjoy your perfectly imperfect marriage.
In Jesus, perfection was put to death. And through trusting Him and His work in our life, we can put to death our endless pursuit of perfection in our own strength and striving.