2 Profound Purposes Behind Powerful Marriages
2 Profound Purposes Behind Powerful Marriages
By Bradley Bennett
Hey guys – today my hope is to walk through something that has the potential to strengthen your marriage and make it powerful.
To start, I want to ask a simple, yet crucial question, why did you get married?
Was it so you could have a “happily ever after” or because you were “so in love”?
These answers aren’t really bad, but when we dig into it, most of us got married because it’s the natural progression in our relationship.
If we desire a powerful marriage, though, we need to have a deeper, more profound purpose for our union.
Let me explain.
Having The Right Why
Amanda and I found out quickly that getting married because we were in love was great, but the “love-dovey” feelings of the newlywed phase didn’t last forever.
The emotions of love and happiness, just like any other emotions, will ebb and flow.
If the why behind our marriage is to experience love or happiness, then the moment those emotions are not present, we will experience frustration. The reason we got marriage will suddenly be gone.
Laying our lives down and serving our spouse is hard. Loving them well when they don’t really deserve it is hard. Without the right why behind those actions, we won’t do them regularly.
This will cause our marriage to ultimately suffer.
There’s a key principle I want to share before we go any further:
A marriage loses it’s “way” when it loses it’s “why”.
Maintaining our way in marriage starts with making sure we have the right why. The right purpose!
The Power Of Purpose
If there is one thing I’ve come to learn about marriage, it’s that it’s hard. There is no easy way to be married to another human. There are times when it requires grit and grace.
In those moments, you may be like me and wonder, why go through all of this? What’s the point?
Without purpose, marriage can seem like a bleak dead end. Something that’s a burden and must be endured. But with a strong purpose, we can navigate tough times in our marriage with joy and experience more fulfillment!
That’s the power.
It’s like the sail on a ship during a strong wind. No sail means we are lost at sea, a weak sail will break under the stress, but a strong sail will allow us to use the stormy winds to pull us faster and further!
Powerful marriages are propelled by their purpose. Their “why” encourages them each day to love their spouse in new and deeper ways, even when there are stormy winds blowing.
When I played football, for an entire month we would wake up at 5:30 to workout in the gym for 3 hours and then practice drills for another 3 hours afterwards. We would do this 4 times a week. It was grueling, but we loved it.
Not because we were insane, but because we had a strong purpose! We wanted to win the championship.
Every weight we lifted, ever sprint we ran and every hour we woke up early was something that moved us closer to that purpose.
There are times in marriage when it will feel like we are going through two-a-days. But if we are tapped into the power of a strong purpose, then it will all be worth it.
Here are two profound ones that I encourage you to meditate on:
Purpose #1: To Become One
And the two shall become one flesh. What God has joined together, let no man separate. ~ Mark 10:8-9
Marriage, at the end of the day, is a relationship created for two people to become one flesh.
But what does that mean practically?
Becoming one means to be completely intimate with another person on every level, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
To become one force that is walking in tandem with each other. Not giving up their god-given identity but combining them in unity.
No other type of relationship can facilitate this level of intimacy because it requires us to become dangerously vulnerable.
In order for us to be vulnerable enough to become one, we need the safety given inside of a marriage based on covenant. A relationship where both spouses are 100% committed to staying together no matter what.
Understanding this has helped me and Amanda in so many ways.
We see the purpose behind all the “work” that needs to be done in marriage. Being intentional to be build intimacy through communication, sex, and spirit can be hard at times, but it’s all working to make us one!
Purpose #2: To Reflect and Model God’s Love
The greatest example of love we have is the way God loves us. He actually commands us to love each other like Christ.
In the gospel of John, Jesus puts it this way,
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” ~ John 13:34
What better relationship for learning this than marriage? It requires us to know the intimate details of someone and choose to love them still.
In Ephesians, we see something similar when Paul writes,
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” ~Ephesians 5:25-26
Marriage is designed as a relationship where we each become more like Christ by learning to love our spouse as he loves us. It’s a transformative process.
This may seem brash…. but I’m gonna to go for it anyway.
We can not fully love our spouse until we allow ourselves to be fully loved by God.
We don’t have enough inside of us to love our spouse well. The only way we can do it is by being filled up by God’s love and reflecting it.
Loving our spouse like Christ loves us is a big ask. But it’s vital for us to look more like Him.
Understanding that He was willing to give his life up for us while we were at our worst changes us. We are then able to give that type of love to our spouse.
When Amanda and I are butting heads (I thank God every day for allowing me to marry such a strong woman) I have a choice, will I reflect God’s love in this moment or not?
Each time I do, I am moving closer our purpose of modeling Christ’s love.
Choosing A Marriage With Purpose
Marriage isn’t fully experienced until we understand the purpose behind it. This world will try and tell us marriage is all about the “happily ever after” but that purpose will leave us frustrated and ultimately unfulfilled.
Marriage isn’t only about happiness, it’s also about holiness. At first glance this may sound bleak, but when we operate from the correct purpose our marriage experiences more happiness than we could imagine.
When we understand our purpose, marriage is no longer something to endure, but a purpose-driven relationship where we reflect our savior.
The times when Amanda and I are actively pursuing our purposes as a marriage are some of the happiest and most fulfilled in our lives.
Living for happiness in marriage only lasts for so long. When Amanda and I first got married, the newlywed bliss lasted for a little while, but it doesn’t carry you for long. When it disappears the only thing that will carry your marriage forward is the purposes behind it.
So, I want to ask you again. “Why are you married?”
Seek to answer this question together.