6 Practical Ways To Honor Your Spouse
6 Practical Ways To Honor Your Spouse
By Bradley Bennett
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” ~Romans 12:9-10
Honor is a critical part of cultivating the sincere love your marriage needs in order to thrive.
When I look at my marriage with Amanda, one of my biggest desires is that our love for each other would be sincere. That it wouldn’t be a superficial love but that we would do the things that lead to a deep, enveloping, real love.
I hope the same thing for your marriage, too. That the love between you and your spouse would be rich and deep. Your marriage was designed to house this type of love and fostering it within your relationship begins by learning to honor your spouse.
Here are a few practical ways Amanda and I try to intentionally show honor to each other.
1. Serve
I believe that honor begins when we choose to serve. Serving your spouse shows that you value them in a big way. In our posts about how to serve your husband or wife, we share the power of servant-hood in your marriage.
Serving your spouse simply means to put their needs in front of your own. It is sacrificial at its core. And operating through service is one of the quickest ways to bring honor into your marriage.
This is especially true when you serve your spouse when you don’t feel like it or they aren’t acting lovingly. It is in these moments that you can show great honor by choosing to serve based on your commitment, not their actions.
Choose to serve your spouse. Be the one who takes the first step.
2. Listen
In our distracted world of T.V.s, smartphones, and social media it’s rare that we get someone’s undivided attention. In marriage, this lack of attention can communicate more than you realize.
Your spouse desires to be heard. Every one of us has the innate need to be heard, understood, and known. You help meet this need by giving your spouse your full attention when they want to share something.
This may seem small, but it communicates honor in a big way. It shows that you value them over whatever game you were playing or text you were sending. The flip side is also true, though, and when you give them half your attention and “half-listen” you are communicating dishonor. Your actions are saying that whatever you are doing is more important than your spouse.
Put down the phone, turn off the T.V., and show honor to your spouse by listening.
3. Engage
Did you know that you and I can listen but still not be engaged in the conversation? This is a constant struggle of mine. I can be staring at Amanda with no distractions, end up going into “la la land”, and miss everything she said.
You see, engagement is participation in the conversation. It goes beyond nodding your head and absently saying “uh huh”. I can tell you from personal experience that half-engaging doesn’t communicate honor.
In order to engage with your spouse and the conversation, you need to use a critical skill called active listening. By employing this skill you will engage with your spouse more readily and truly show honor towards them.
4. Stand
One of the most beautiful aspects of marriage is the fact that you never have to go through life alone. You always have someone there to fight alongside you and go through life’s difficulties together.
Chances are that your spouse will go through a hard time. That’s one of the only certainties in this life.
Hard times can be incredibly difficult but they also provide opportunities for the most incredible displays of love and honor. The part of the wedding vows that choke me up the most is when both spouse’s vow to love each other,
“in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer.”
These are vows to honor each other by choosing to stand together when times are hard. To be each other’s strength and source. Honor your spouse by choosing to stand and support them during hard times.
5. Pray
Your prayer life is one of the greatest ways you can honor your spouse. Through prayer, you can lift them up, encourage them, and ask for God to move on their behalf.
Amanda and I have shared our struggle with anxiety and stress in our marriage. It’s something that popped up until we decided to begin praying for each other about it.
We pray together regularly, but we have also chosen to pray for each other during our own personal prayer times. Knowing that I am on Amanda’s mind during her prayer time makes me feel so honored.
Start by asking your spouse what they are praying for right now and then choose to join them in that prayer. Count it a privilege to join them in that prayer as their spouse and lift it up.
6. Love
I am not an advocate for excessive PDA like you see from high school couples in the mall. I’m pretty sure no one wants to see that. But, there is something honoring about actions that demonstrate your love for your spouse.
This can be simple things like holding your spouse’s hand when you are walking together or other simple touches that show affection.
You can also show love by speaking often and lovingly of your spouse to others. Doing this and leaving no doubt about where your love and attention rest is among the most honoring things you can do.
True love is built on investment and affection is the overflow of those many tiny investments. Show your love often and honor your spouse by giving your love to them alone.
Will You Choose To Honor?
It’s a big question… “Will you honor your spouse?”
My prayer is that you would always answer that question with a, “yes”. Honor plays such a critical role in creating the type of sincere love your marriage was designed for.
Love your spouse well by showing them great respect and counting it a privilege to be married to them. Honor them and watch as your marriage begins to well up and eventually overflow with sincere love that is rich, deep, and fulfilling.